Ⅰ 校园暴力的小品或剧本，或是事件也行

校园暴力的小品，选用打劫失败，最后得到美好的故事：

《校园反暴力小品之——打劫》

机械科学与工程孙超超

人物：甲乙大哥和三个手下。一对情侣丙丁。彪悍女汉子。两个保安。

两名大二的大学生登场。乙拉着甲跑。（背景音乐你是风儿我是沙）

甲：诶诶，（音乐停）望望周围，怎么走这条道呢，（扯开拉着的手），这荒无人烟的小树林，你不会对我有什么企图吧，（娇羞状）我可是良家美男诶。

乙:想嘛玩意儿呢，（拍了下甲的头）这不快迟到了，穿个小道吗。瞧你那样（鄙视看）。啤酒肚子，罗圈腿，谁看的上你啊。。快走。不然迟到了。

甲：一跺脚，娘娘腔的。兰花指，说，：“讨厌，你···你无耻，你···下流，瞎说什么大实话，呜呜，然后跟上。

背景音乐（一起来看流星雨）

四大校园金刚出场。（慢动作，模仿F4）

音乐停。

为首的老大：（模仿功夫里，周星驰的动作）站住，同学，哥几个，最近手痒，想上网，可手里没钱啊，所以借点钱花花。（痞子样）

甲：赶忙握紧书包，没···没，钱。躲在乙身后。

乙：我··我·也没钱。跑

乙拉着甲想跑，被其他三人围住了。

音乐起，悲壮的音乐。两人遭围攻。慢动作。（文松式姑娘拳）

混战中，乙看到为首老大身上的刀，乙被推倒，乙顺势倒地不起，晕倒。甲无奈弃包，半扶起乙。

（四大金刚得包后，兴高采烈退场）

甲：掏出手绢，娇滴滴的哭泣，大哥，大哥你醒醒，摸摸甲的脸，然后说：没办法了，没有你，清白有何用！脸上一副视死如归的样子。然后试图做人工呼吸。音乐起（我愿意）

乙：赶忙跳起来，哎呀，你干嘛呢，干嘛呢。跑到前面，各位在座的姐姐妹妹呀，我至今单身，属性绝对是正常的。退回去，一脸嫌弃望着甲。

甲：（尴尬）大哥，大哥，你没死啊。我以为你死了呢。呵呵。

乙死什么死啊，你没看到那个人有大玩意别在腰上吗?幸亏我机灵，不然就真死了。（叉腰自豪状）

甲：（扑通，跪在地上）大哥，命是保住了，钱可怎么办啊。我爸抗了一个月的砖头才给我挣得一个月生活费就没了。呜呜，啊，苍天啊，啊，大地啊。

乙：行了，别豪豪了，扯着没用的干啥。这样我有个主意，咱两不是被劫了一次了，也算有经验了。咱两为啥不去劫别人呢，这样啊，一可以吧被劫的钱补回来，二来还可以补贴家用。何乐而不为呢。

甲：站起身来，义正言辞的说，哥，指着乙，你·····你·怎么这样··聪明呢。乙：那是甲：，一脸坚定说，行，就这样说定了，看着啊，待会来人，来谁，我劫谁，看清楚了啊。乙：好呐。

威猛男上场：走上台在甲乙两人前秀肌肉，甲，尴尬，撑口袋看天。

乙：坏笑，哎，你上啊。

甲：娇羞说，犯不上。

乙：哈哈，你不是狠吗你，狠呐（甲推下乙）

甲：看到汉子过来，连忙做嘘嘘。让乙闭嘴。

等汉子走到另一边。

乙：哈哈。老弟你挺怂的啊。

甲：谁怂了，我不怂，跟我来。

乙：行吧，我看着。

甲：走上前去拍下汉子的肩。

汉子转头，甲开溜，汉子与乙对视。

汉子怒目，乙尴尬赔笑。

汉子凶狠：干什么玩意儿啊。

乙：呵呵呵。好尴尬哈，

汉子：尴尬，你打我干嘛。

无奈状。抖抖索索从自己鞋里拿出一个钱袋。鞠楼着说，嘿嘿嘿，你钱袋从兜里掉了。

汉子：上下打量了乙一眼，我的```

乙：嗯嗯嗯嗯。

汉子抢过钱袋：谢谢啊。准备放到口袋里，发现没有口袋

乙与汉子相视一笑。汉子把钱袋夹在了胳肢窝里。笑笑，就走了。

乙在后面作比划，要打那汉子。然后转头对甲吆喝，你给我过来。

甲跑过来。乙：我就转1圈，溜达溜达。

甲说;（一副恨铁不成钢的样子）大哥，你干什么玩意，不是打劫吗，怎么还给上钱了呢。是人家，高点，壮点，怎么就吓成这样啦。说好的经验了，怎么就没抢来呢，这样吧，一会来人我打劫给你看啊，来谁我抢谁，看好了啊。

乙：行行行，我看着啊。

一女孩蹦蹦跳跳的走过。

甲：大吼一声，你给我站住。

女孩似没听见般，就走了过去。

甲尴尬说：那女孩，咋，就回来卅。

乙：嗤笑，你咋不狠呢。

甲：不，那女孩没听见。

乙：（笑），你不行，对付女孩你得看我的。

甲：行，你来。

乙拾掇拾掇自己，作出痞子样。大喊，美女，你给我过来。

女孩和上一个汉子登场。乙立马怂了。

汉子：你··你·。叫我女朋友，说，是不是你。乙一脸无辜看甲

甲：插着口袋对，就是你。

汉子：你叫我女朋友有啥事啊。

甲：啥事啊，说啊

乙赔笑：嘿嘿嘿，好尴尬啊，诶，这不女生节吗，给着姑娘钱（浑身摸遍掏出100块钱）

去买花。女生节快乐。呵呵呵呵哦呵呵。

汉子：哦，这样啊。抱了抱女生，还不谢谢大哥。

乙：谢谢，大哥。说完捂嘴。

（汉子，女孩退场。）

甲:嘿嘿嘿嘿，大哥，现在一分钱没了吧。高兴了吧。

甲：哎，我算总结就琢磨出来了，是男的我们都劫不了，有男朋友的女的也不行，有本事，这样吧，咱就劫老弱病残吧。

甲:正经样，大哥，你说啥呢，用拳头推一下乙，有骨气，我欣赏。

乙：对啊，我算是琢磨透了，咱们这下就劫，落单的姑娘吧，哈哈哈。

一个看似柔弱的女生上场，手里拿着一包。

甲：嘿嘿，大哥，大哥，来一姑娘。看起来听柔弱的，要不我们就劫他了。

乙：好内，正要动手，转头对甲说，你先上周围看看去。

甲：发现没人对乙说，报告大哥没人

乙：好内，瞧好吧。

乙走过去，姑娘忽然从包里拿出一把刀

甲：这是啥情况啊。

乙：我都蒙圈了。

姑娘：少废话，把钱给我拿出来。用刀威胁。

乙：不是，大姐，大姐冷静，我真没钱。

姑娘：对甲，你呢。

甲：不是大姐，我一穷学生，平时也没什么钱，拿出一元硬币。

姑娘：不拿钱我就宰了他

甲：那，我没钱。

乙：哎哎，不是你刚才你兜里都是啥。

甲：大哥，（捂住口袋）大哥你要动我这个钱啊。

乙：对啊

甲：大哥，别人不知道，你还不知吗。这个钱，这个钱是我明天再上吃馄饨的钱。

乙：哎。好尴尬啊。不是，哎哎。是我重要还是吃馄饨重要啊。’

甲走开

乙：你干嘛去。

甲：我寻思寻思。乙，你给我回来，这破事还要寻思

甲：大哥，你别逼我，在我心中，你跟馄饨都特别的重要。来大哥，我给你分析分析啊。

馄钝，能够填包我的肚子。对吧。而你，大哥···。反应过来。馄饨重要。

乙：哎，嘿嘿，好尴尬。来快杀了我

姑娘：行了，你两别给我整这没用的。没钱是吧，没钱我就动手了。一、二

乙：慢着，大姐，这一劫看来我是逃不过去了，临终前，我能和我弟弟说两句话吗？唔头沉思，二傻啊，大哥可能逃不过着劫了，希望下辈子还能和你做朋友。

甲：和，哥····哥。

乙：弟··弟···（重复）（背景音乐悲伤）慢动作甲把乙拉出来，然后自己用刀捅了自己。倒地。

音乐停。

姑娘：用脚踢了甲。干什么呢，干什么呢，碰瓷呢。我也没动啊，哎呀妈呀，还给我来个慢动作，干什么玩意啊。，你们这是。甲乙傻笑。乙：好尴尬啊。

姑娘：我明白了。你想替他死对吧，那好我成全你。呀呀

甲：等会，大姐，我有话对我哥说。哥哥，下辈子，我还做你弟弟。

乙：弟弟

甲：和，哥哥。

（重复）（背景音乐悲伤）慢动作甲把乙拉出来，然后自己试图用刀捅了自己。姑娘崩溃，拿出两把刀，分别搁在他两的脖子。

音乐停。

姑娘：停，这下你两满意了吧。

甲：这下公平。

姑娘：送你两上路。

四大金刚:住手。

四大金刚上场.(流星雨主题曲)

四大金刚：此树是我栽，此山是我开，要想从此过留下买路财。

甲乙:不不，怎么回事怎么又是他四啊。

姑娘：大哥，天龙盖地虎。

大哥:小鸡炖蘑菇。

姑娘和大哥一起转圈。同行啊（背景音乐。终于等到你）。拥抱。

大哥：出来混就讲道理，你既然不是和他一会儿的就走吧。

姑娘转身嘚瑟的对甲乙。我走了。

甲:慢走啊。Darling

乙:慢走啊，弟妹。

大哥;你说什么。

姑娘;诶诶额，你听错了。

大哥：darling,弟妹，。你给我回去。

甲乙：庆祝手势。

姑娘委屈的回去。

四大金刚收钱中···

两个穿红马甲的学生丙丁路过，

丙上前说：我就说在小树林里不会有好事儿。有人抢钱，快去帮忙。

丁拉住：你傻啊，人那么多，如果有刀呢，伤到你我多心疼啊。

丙说：那怎么办。

丁：神秘说。只要几个数字。85095110，

丙：嗨，不就是保卫办报警电话。你打还是我打。丁准备回答，丙说我打吧。

丙丁退场。

两位保安上，说。不准动。我是我们学院的保安人员，负责的是我们整个学院和各位学生的人身财产安全的，有我们保安在，一定不会让你们这些人侵犯到同学们的合法权益的。

保安：同学没事吧，来你的钱。

甲乙没事：谢谢叔叔，

警察犯人退场。

甲：大哥咱两现在都安全了。哈哈

乙：哈哈。二傻。我们还抢吗。

甲:不不不抢呢

乙:以后呢

甲：以后也不抢了

乙：嗯嗯，成老夫子状，孺子可教，走上课去。

边退场边说，哥，你说我们还赶得上吗？

能，肯定能。有了错，及时改都是好的。

丙丁红马甲演员上场。我们要提醒大家，校园暴力要根除。摆正心态最重要。

学校是我家。安全防护靠大家。

Ⅱ 现在比刘德华年纪小的人为什么不爱看电视了呢

刘德华是人人皆知的四大天王之一，他的名字响切海内外。他是著名的演员，和歌手所以他的名气很大。鹿晗是小鲜肉，在演艺界是很有名的。在唱歌方面也很有天赋。所以他们二人都很有名气。

Ⅲ 小沈阳如今已经被去除小品界，他到底得罪了什么人

小沈阳如今已经被去除小品界，他到底得罪了什么人？

我觉得小沈阳并没有得罪什么人，因为小沈阳的风格可能就是这样的，一开始上了春晚以后他就大红大紫，甚至在上完春晚以后的一个小时，他可能就让整个我们的老百姓都熟知他的形象所以很多人了，而且他塑造的这个形象非常受人欢迎，有些人沉迷其中认为小沈阳就是一，所以很多人捧他，让他演电视剧，让他唱歌等等，各种事情都有。

以上就是我对这个问题的回答，希望我的回答能够对大家有所帮助，喜欢的朋友可以在下方评论区点赞关注，我将会和大家积极互动。

Ⅳ 你怎么评价赵本山

个人认为赵本山是当之无愧的小品王，虽然自《昨天，今天，明天》后他才开始年年小品一等奖，虽然这些和赵丽蓉老师离世，陈佩斯不上春晚有一定的关系。但是从2000开始，人们对于春晚最大的期待就是赵本山，而且1999到2008他的小品除了欢笑外，还会带给我们一些思考，里面有描述社会的现状，如孤寡老人的寂寞；有讽刺文艺界，如公鸡下蛋的小品。其中经典的台词都会成为当年的流行语，而不是像现在把网络流行语做成小品。

?，只有赵本山一个。潘长江老师也评价其是真正的小品王。

转折点是在09年，那一年宋丹丹和范伟不想上春晚，赵本山找不到搭档（在一次回答记者问题还说范伟现在是大碗了，打电话也不接了。两人也是从那一年开始不再有合作了），这才开始大胆全部启用徒弟，也可以说小沈阳的爆红也得益于前辈们的隐退。从09年开始赵本山连续三年的春晚都会带自己徒弟上阵，也是从这个时候开始，小品质量急剧下降，笑点偏向低俗，小品本身也没有什么可以思考的地方，单纯是挠着你让你笑。（但是其他人的小品更菜，所以三年依然是小品一等奖）
可以说这三年的作品让赵本山有些晚节不保，一个是自己身体出现问题，而且本山传媒涉及的领域越来越多，可以说本山大叔有些分心了，还有就是传统小品曲艺节目的下滑，大批小品演员开始往影视剧演员转型，赵本山找不到有实力的搭档。

Ⅳ 恩,我是个中学生,想写一个类似何炅和MARY的"超幸福鞋垫"类似的小品,请帮我提供点经典的广告词

####全国销量六年领先，鞋垫连起来可臭地球两圈

Ⅵ 为什么越来越多的小品演员不再上春晚了

因为现在娱乐圈的娱乐形式有很多，比如脱口秀，相声相声，还有很多的曲艺类节目都比较精彩，小品并不占主要的地位了

Ⅶ 女孩子泰迪狗取什么名字最好听可爱的

根据你喜欢的名字去取，叫着顺口就行。

Ⅷ 一代小品王赵本山涉严重违法，13亿影视项目黄了！你怎么看

自从2013年开始，赵本山宣布正式退出央视春晚舞台，并且永久退出小品界，此后便很少在荧幕上看到他的身影。一代小品王赵本山涉嫌严重违法，公司被查13亿的影视项目，也打了水漂。曾经的春晚钉子户大厦将倾，显现出了本山传媒江河日下的内幕。

王思聪

他骂完赵本山的第二天，就发生了开篇的被人用酒瓶子砸了脑袋的一幕。后来，王思聪的“狂言”传到了赵本山的耳朵里，他只轻飘飘地回应了一句话“小孩子不要乱说话”。

Ⅸ 小品碰瓷的所有台词

【宋】：嘿嘿.... 大路朝天各走半边，我的人生格言是在哪里跌倒就在哪里睡一觉，因为我是一个很 敬业很专业的人。我的母亲曾告诉我这样一句话 说一个不会炒菜的厨师根本就不是一个好司机。

哎，具体我是干什么的呢？别着急，马上就知道。我的设备需要一样一样的往外拿啊。别着急，哎 这箱需要密码，别着急，大家一定要注意。别着急，哼，别着急，你们猜不到的。别着急我的报纸呢在这儿。哎，走你 (吹口哨)

【文】：ONE TWO 三

【宋】：啊 哎呀

【文】：妈呀

【宋】：哎呀

【文】：我

【宋】：哇

【文】：咋的啦大爷你咋的啦大爷

【宋】：踩我腰啦

【文】：妈呀太神奇啦

【宋】：啊

【文】：我踩你腰啦

【宋】：啊

【文】：那我怎么一点感觉都没有啊

【宋】：你瞧你那个损粗

【文】：你可吓死我了

【宋】：你要有感觉你就把我踩死了

【文】：你说话咋这么吓人呢

【宋】：你 火焰山呐 烫脚啊 站着 立正 坐下 过来

【文】：怎么了大爷

【宋】：你瞧你这出像个什么

【文】：美人鱼

【宋】：我看你都没人形啦 你把我踩了怎么办

【文】：那咱们俩就去医院 拍个片呗

【宋】：你忙不忙

【文】：挺忙的

【宋】：我就知道你挺忙的 刚才你过来的时候我就猜到 你肯定要踩到我 所以呢大爷把片子都拍好啦 你看啊 这张呢 是小腿骨粉碎性的骨折 拿错了这是碰大货车时用的 啊 这张是 脑瓜门往下 尾 巴跟往上 粉碎性骨折

【文】：妈呀 太神奇了 我的一脚把你踩成无脊椎动物啦

【宋】：你别跟我贫嘴 你说这事该怎么办 拿钱吧

【文】：没带钱

【宋】：有卡没

【文】：卡有啊

【宋】：那太好啦 我这儿有移动POS机

【文】：不 大爷啊 你这个设备是不是为我量身订做的呀

【宋】：大爷纯专业 明白不

【文】：啊

【宋】：那个 要发票不 《开文具还说洗浴?》

【文】：不要

【宋】：不要发票拿卡

【文】：给

【宋】：bu ling bu ling bu ling bu ling 不灵 不灵 什么 什么玩意儿 大明星美容会所 主营项目丰胸提 臀 玩儿呢

【文】：大爷我告诉你 这个呢是我店里的卡

【宋】：我要银行卡

【文】：银行卡你为什么不早说呢 没有

【宋】：你没有你在这跟我扯啥呀 赶快打电话让人送钱来

【文】：你不就是想要钱吗

【宋】：对呀

【文】：多少钱

【宋】：八百

【文】：大爷 你仔细看 能不能看出我是干什么的

【宋】：你愿意干什么干什么 拿钱

【文】：我告诉你我是健美操教练 一节课正好是一千 我今天给你打个八折 也就是八百块钱 咱俩就算 两清了

【宋】：你要干啥呀

【文】：教你健美操

【宋】：我不学

【文】：不学你得看 看了就收费 我绝对不会白踩你一脚 音乐 走

【宋】：哎 哎

【文】：嚯

【宋】：不是 哎 不是不是 停 哎呀妈呀停 哎停停停停停

【文】：不是

【宋】：停停 走 不要钱了 走 另外走之前我问你一个问题 你到底是男人还是女人

【文】：妈呀你怎么可以当这么多人的面问我这样的问题 我只能送你五个字 我真讨厌你

【宋】：讨厌我的人多了你算老几

【文】：呸 哎呀

【宋】：出师不利呀 这一出门就碰上一个这样的 下面一个能是什么样的呢 让我们拭目以待 {杨冰上 场}

【杨】：{唱}你是我的眼 我却看不到你的从前

【宋】：啊

【杨】：啊

【宋】：哎呀 哎呀

【杨】：哎呀

【宋】：哎呀 哎呀

【杨】：哎

【宋】：哎呀

【杨】：咋的啦

【宋】：哎 压着我脚啦

【杨】：我压你脚啦

【宋】：你自己看看呐

【杨】：这没压着啊

【宋】：你啥眼神 啊你再看看

【杨】：啊 这回压着啦

【宋】：压着了吧

【杨】：哎呀

【宋】：你把我压着了怎么办吧

【杨】：大爷

【宋】：啊

【杨】：你是碰瓷的吧

【宋】：啊

【杨】：嘿嘿嘿 那我这陪你钱呗

【宋】：看见没看见 这是办事的人 碰了就抓紧给钱谁也不耽误谁时间 你既然这么坦诚呢我就给你介绍 一下我的收费标准

【杨】：啊

【宋】：我这一般呐搭脚边儿伍佰元 上脚面儿一千块 过脚面儿一千五 今儿看你态度这么好我算你半搭 不搭 八百块 额 合理不

【杨】：这个价位非常合理

【宋】：能接受不

【杨】：我太能接受了 我前天让人碰一回 赔人一千呢 嘿嘿嘿

【宋】：你看我为什么这么便宜呢 因为我这是薄利多销

【杨】：啊

【宋】：知道不 我这儿走量 见利就走

【杨】：那大爷

【宋】：啊

【杨】：我现在兜里一分钱都没有啊

【宋】：一分钱没有少跟我扯这没有用的

【杨】：哎 不是不是 你这么的大爷 你听我说啊

【宋】：啊

【杨】：我这个人呢 是特别讲诚信的

【宋】：啊

【杨】：我呢 你给我点时间

【宋】：你想走肯定不好使

【杨】：我肯定不走 你呢配合我一下 你一动别动咱俩就在这儿 一会儿我把钱挣够了我就给你 行不行

【宋】：你要能给我拿钱我怎么配合你都行

【杨】：妥了 你就等我一会儿

【宋】：但你别让我干活 你明白不

【杨】：我不能让你干活

【宋】：你要怎么样

【杨】：谢谢 好人一生平安 谢谢

【宋】：停吧 你别拉啦 干啥呢

【杨】：我不得挣钱给你吗

【宋】：这么挣我用你啊 这给钱是冲我给的知道不 不是你拉的好是我长得太可怜啦 咱们不这么闹行不 行 我给你二百块钱你快走吧

【杨】：那你这么说话可不行我哪能要你钱呢

【宋】：我看出来啦 我是碰瓷的 你是专门碰碰瓷的啊

【杨】：你啊你听我说啊 这钱呢我今天也 也不给你了 你也别给我了 你这行啊有风险 是不 是 你有一 天啦你腿被人打折的时候呢 然后你来找我来 是不是 我给你留个名片 你这块啊 人少 你上小广 场那边人特别多

【宋】：啊

【杨】：我就在那儿拉胡扯 你就在哪儿跪着 咱俩一天挣八百块钱像玩儿似的 啊

【宋】：你别介

【杨】：你就听我的啊再见

【宋】：啊 哎呀 哎呀 哎呀 碰一个走道的 碰个骑车的 今儿这点是够呛了 我看能不能来个豪车啥让我 撞一下啊 {娇娇开车上} 哎 哎

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀还往前开 哎呀还开 哎呀

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎压脚了哎呀哎呀

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀 女司机吧

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀 哎呀我的妈呀 哎 哎呀 哎呀 哎呀 哎呀 哎呀等会儿

【娇】：啊

【宋】：别动 你别出来 彩排这没压着 你回去

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀 出来吧

【娇】：啊

【宋】：哎呀

【娇】：啊 喔 我的天呐{用英文说买噶的}

【宋】：没轧着 压着了

【娇】：啊

【宋】：啊

【娇】：你没事吧大伯

【宋】：你看我的腿都已经掰到这儿了 再大点掰就掰折了

【娇】：叔叔啊{用英文说安可啊} 我是刚刚从香港来到这里呀

【宋】：哪儿的

【娇】：香港啊

【宋】：哦 黑龙江鹤岗的啊

【娇】：啊叔叔啊{用英文说安可啊}你想怎样啊

【宋】：你抓紧时间你看你把大爷给撞了 那你就给钱呗

【娇】：我 我没带人民币啊

【宋】：港币也行啦

【娇】：我出门很匆忙的 港币

【宋】：要赖账 年轻人不靠谱啊少跟我扯着没有用的

【娇】：哇哦

【宋】：我得把现场先做好咯

【娇】：哎 我的天呐{用英文说买噶的}

【宋】：哎

【娇】：哦哇

【宋】：哎 现场已经做好了啊

【娇】：哎 哦

【宋】：你们这些年轻人呐 我跟你说实话知道不 我呢谁都信不着 别跟我扯那没用的 走你 特写啊 啊 好

【娇】：我的天呐{用英文说买噶的}

【宋】：哎 非常专业

【娇】：叔叔{用英文说安可} 你真的太有国际范啊 好时尚哦{用英文说好可翻身咯}

【宋】：你看你这孩子长不长心啊 我都撞成这样你还说我不翻身 我怎么翻身

【娇】：我是说你碰瓷好专业哦 叔叔啊{用英文说安可啊} 我觉得我们这样沟通起来真的很有 问题的 {用英文说插包的}

【宋】：不是问题{用英文说不是插包}你都快把我气的起包啦 你这样吧你抓紧找一个能跟我沟通明白 的人 让他带钱来 来办这事啊 大陆有朋友没

【娇】：我老公是大陆的

【宋】：赶快给打电话

【娇】：但是我老公是打自由搏击UFC啊

【宋】：吓唬谁呢 还UFC 他愿意什么C什么C 有能力让他送我归西

【娇】：叔叔啊 {用英文说安可啊} 但是就你这样子三秒钟就KO你了

【宋】：哎呀 你别拿KOKO吓唬我 他来了就OK啦

【娇】：那我打电话好了

【宋】：快去吧 这些年轻人办事不靠谱 哎呀

【娇】：喂 老公啊 我遇到麻烦他碰瓷啊 你快点来现场 快来帮忙啊 OKOKOK

【宋】：KO没

【娇】：哦 叔叔啊{用英文说安可啊}但是我还是要提醒你一句啊 我老公来的时候呢 你千万不要看他的 眼睛啊 他有职业病的 他在圈内大家都叫他小野兽啊 你看他眼睛的时候他就以为你是在挑衅他 分分钟就KO你了

【宋】：就是不能跟他对视呗

【娇】：千万不要看他

【宋】：我怎么就不信呢 让他给我打残 全身上下都打骨折 下辈子我有地

【田】：呀 谁是碰瓷的啊 谁是碰瓷的啊 {与观众对视}

【娇】：不要

【田】：{向观众发难}看我干啥 啊 是不是挑战我 信不信我KO你 啊 怎么的 啊

【娇】：镇定

【田】：断头台

【娇】：哎呀你 不是他啊 老公你快点 快认输啊 拍他三下啊 快

【田】：算你拍的快

【娇】：你认错人了老公啊 碰瓷的在你后面呢

【娇】：啊 不要啊老公

【田】：为什么这么看我 啊 嚯 嚯 嚯

【娇】：啊 老公啊 你虎啊 撒开我啊 快点

【田】：啊 怎么啦

【娇】：这虎儿 我是碰瓷的吗

【田】：啊

【娇】：哎呀老公啊 碰瓷的在你后面啊

【田】：啊 亲爱的 不好意思 我又失控了 我告诉过你不要看我眼睛

【娇】：在你后面 在你后面呢

【田】：在哪

【娇】：后面呢

【田】：你碰瓷啊

【宋】：啊

【田】：是不是你碰瓷

【宋】：我都没动地方 就在这儿呢

【田】：来 从圈里出来

【宋】：我 不能出这个圈

【田】：为什么

【宋】：悟空还没回来

【田】：是不是欺负我媳妇是香港的 啊

【宋】：我 我有证据

【田】：跟我来这套不好使

【宋】：我有证据

【田】：什么证据

【宋】：我现场都留下照片啦我刚才照的

【田】：这是你吗 你是不是懵我 这是你吗

【宋】：你看这整的没用的 这怎么不说我呢 我刚才这不没戴眼镜吗 你你 你看那是不是我 你自己瞅一 眼 哎 哎 哎 哎

【娇】：哎 老公啊 [哎赶紧来人啦]

【田】：你是不是不服

【杨】：哎 哎 哎停

【田】：信不信我锁死你

【杨】：停 停 停 停 行了 停 哎呀 哎呀哎呀 停

【宋】：哎呀 你个损粗 我腰啊

【杨】：告诉你啥呀 他腰不好 你使那么大劲干啥呀

【田】：他看我眼睛

【宋】：你这个损粗还不出戏了呢

(9)币圈小品扩展阅读：

小品《碰瓷》演员表：

1、宋小宝

宋小宝，本名宋宝利，1981年1月5日出生，吉林省通化市辉南县楼街乡光明村人，中国内地男演员，喜剧表演艺术家赵本山先生的第32位徒弟。

2009年，因参加综艺节目《本山快乐营》小有名气。

2011年，因参演辽宁卫视春节晚会与师父赵本山合作小品《相亲》而获得更多关注。

2012年8月，凭借电视剧《樱桃》参加第四届新农村电视艺术节获最佳男主角。同年12月10日，凭借电视剧《樱桃》参加第八届华鼎奖获当代类最佳男演员。

2013年10月，第十届华鼎奖获最受中国媒体欢迎的演员。

2014年8月，凭借电视剧《樱桃红》参加第十三届华鼎奖获中国当代题材电视剧最佳男演员奖。

2015年参加中国首档明星喜剧竞赛真人秀《欢乐喜剧人第一季》。同年11月5日，参加《咱们穿越吧》庆功会。同年12月9日，献唱电影《唐人街探案》推广曲《往事只能回味》。

2016年12月13日，献唱电影《东北往事之破马张飞》主题曲《全世界都在说东北话》。

2、娇娇

娇娇，女，本名张玉娇，生于1986年，“无名组合”成员，本山传媒旗下演员。

2004年学唱二人转。2009年进入辽宁民间艺术团，并开始在“刘老根大舞台”演出。

2009年参加辽宁卫视《新笑林》、《明星转起来》拍摄。

2010年辽宁卫视春晚小品《疯狂粉丝团》（扮演“新加坡娇娇”)。

2011年与张尧组成“无名组合”过关斩将获央视《星光大道》年度亚军。

2011年辽宁卫视春晚小品《疯狂旅游团》。

2012年娇娇参演电视剧《第二十二条婚规》，扮演由宋小宝饰演的主角"张铎"的妹妹"小月"。

2012年辽宁卫视春晚小品《疯狂鉴宝团》（扮演"嘎啦哈专家"）。

2013年与张尧，周炜，石头，丁德龙，刘大成，张学敏，孙朝阳参加2013年央视春节联欢晚会《我要上春晚》（扮演保洁队高歌《忐忑》的女孩）。

3、文松

文松，原名石文嵩，1986年6月9日出生于辽宁省营口市，中国内地影视男演员。

2014年，完成了个人首部电视剧作品，参演了赵本山、于震宇、小沈阳主演的乡村喜剧《收获的季节》，从而正式进入演艺圈。

2015年，以助演的身份随辽宁民间艺术团宋小宝团队参加了东方卫视喜剧竞演节目《欢乐喜剧人》；10月27日，其参演的都市喜剧电影《山炮进城》首映。

2016年，参加浙江卫视原创室内竞技真人秀节目《王牌对王牌》；3月2日，与小沈阳、刘小光、宋晓峰共同出演的都市喜剧电影《山炮进城2》上映；10月17日，与包贝尔、柳岩、王鸥共同出演的古装喜剧《欢喜密探》首播，在剧中饰演龙定海的手下裘清月。

2017年，参加东方卫视喜剧真人秀节目《欢乐喜剧人第三季》，凭借小品《新琅琊榜》获得总决赛冠军；4月，与秦昊、谢楠、冷中易合作主演喜剧电影《这位壮士》。

2017年5月，与师兄宋小宝一同参加东方卫视星素挑战竞技秀节目《笑声传奇》；随后，与成毅、阿拉蕾联合主演动作喜剧电影《营救汪星人》。

2017年9月29日，由董成鹏主演的喜剧电影《缝纫机乐队》上映，文松在片中饰演破吉他乐队的成员；之后，与贾冰、顾宝明领衔主演民国情景喜剧《奉天大饭店》，在剧中担纲男主角，饰演酒店大亨之子朱一群。

2018年1月26日，与刘小光领衔主演的喜剧电影《S4侠降魔记》上映，在片中饰演保安老牛的儿子小牛；4月29日，与修睿、夏梓桐、晨梓妍领衔主演的喜剧电影《尖叫直播》上映，在片中担纲男主角，饰演气质阴柔的夜店资深玩家“七仙女”。

4、杨树林

杨树林，本名杨冰，1986年出生于辽宁省铁岭市，中国内地男演员，喜剧表演艺术家赵本山先生的第22位弟子 。

2009年，在民国喜剧《关东大先生》中扮演贝勒爷身旁侍卫，可爱善良、多才多谋多策的"小墩子 " 。

2011年，在室内情景喜剧《来的都是客》中扮演酒店二当家"贾成龙"。

2012年，因参演公安部春节晚会与师父赵本山合作小品《狭路相逢》而获得更多关注。同年在都市喜剧《不是钱的事》中扮演即将面临解散艺术队队员，可爱又带点蔫坏的“翟小明”。同年在悲情剧《樱桃》中扮演见钱眼开的“侯文斌”。

2013年3月，与宋小宝、沈春阳共同主演苦情剧《樱桃红》，在片中饰演既心疼老爹又惧怕媳妇的"赵虎子"。

2014年，在民国传奇剧《老兵》中扮演多勇善战、无所畏惧“小鼓楼”。同年在农村家庭剧《收获的季节》中扮演质朴的农村青年“李凤喜”。

2015年，参加明星喜剧竞赛真人秀《欢乐喜剧人》第一季，不管小沈阳或者宋小宝谁是主要嘉宾，身边都有杨树林的身影。同年在农村言情剧《乡村爱情进行曲》中扮演司机"杨光”。

2016年，参加《欢乐喜剧人》第二季。因为在《欢乐喜剧人》两季中的优质表现得到大家的承认，他也是欢乐喜剧人前两季中唯一一个全勤的喜剧演员。

2017年，参演北京卫视春晚小品《幸福快递》 。同年1月，作为常驻嘉宾参加音乐喜剧综艺秀《厉害了！我的歌》。在该节目中，杨树林和李玉刚联袂演唱《一人饮酒醉》，节目播出半个月，视频总播放量已经突破一亿 。

同年5月，参加星素喜剧挑战竞技秀节目《笑声传奇》。同年5月，杨树林作为主演出席了软科幻电影《超级APP》在广州开机仪式。同年7月，参加《跨界喜剧王》第二季。在四期节目，与啜妮、潘阳变身“嘻哈侠”疯狂“尬rap”。

2018年2月，与王博文参演北京卫视春晚小品《那一晚的春天》，生动演绎了一段发生在养老院的动人故事。同月，与赵海燕参演吉视卫视春晚小品《爱的“代驾”》。同年6月，参演由小沈阳执导动作喜剧电影《猛虫过江》。

Ⅹ 关于法律小品的剧本！很急，悬赏分100

书：请公诉人、辩护人入庭
书：请审判长、审判员入庭
请大家坐下。
书：（转身）报告审判长，公诉人已经到庭，被告人张三已提到候审，法庭准备工作就绪。
审:（敲法锤）现在开庭。传被告人张三到庭。
张三被两个人架着带上法庭。。
张三：别拖俺，俺会走，拖拖拖，拖个啥劲，你没看出俺只有一米六八，你们有一米八六，这步子大小能一样吗？
张三被带入被告席。
审：被告人张三你的基本情况描述下。
张三：法官大人，俺叫张三，是马里坡澳洲县一遵纪守法的朴实无产阶级农民，1963年3月12日出生，汉族人，初中文化，小学文凭。
审：被告人张三，起诉书副本有无收到，何时收到？
张三：2019年5月20日收到。
审：马里坡市贾人区人民法院刑事审判庭，依照《中国人民共和国刑事诉讼法》第一百七十二条规定，今天在这里依法公开开庭审理由马里坡市检察院提起公诉的被告人张三涉嫌非法出售珍贵、濒危野生动物案。根据刑事诉讼法第154、159、160条的规定，当事人在庭审中享有下列权利：
（1）、可以申请合议庭组成人员、书记员、公诉人回避；
（2）、可以提出证据，申请通知新的证人到庭，调取新的证据。
（3）被告人可自行辩护
（4）被告人可以在法庭辩论终结后做最后陈诉。
上述各项权利，被告人听清楚了吗？
张三：俺听清楚了，就是俺没听懂。
审：你哪里没听懂？
张三：都没听懂。
审：没听懂不着急，我们先进行下一步。
审：现在开始法庭调查，先由公诉人宣读起诉书。
公（站起）：被告人张三，男，1963年3月12日出生，汉族，文盲，马里坡澳洲县人，2019年5月3日因涉嫌非法出售珍贵，濒危野生动物罪被马里坡澳洲县森林公安局刑事拘留，同年5月13日被逮捕。本案由马里坡澳洲县森林公安局侦破终结，于2019年5月20日移送本院审查起诉，现经审查查明：被告人张三在马里坡澳洲县飞天山安装绳套，同年4月12日套的一只野生动物，后被告人通过刘德刚的帮忙联系到买主，并于2019年4月25日出售给张权用以自食。2019年5月8日经国家林业局公安司法鉴定中心，先后对张三非法猎捕的也少动物进行鉴定，经鉴定该野生动物为国家II级重点保护动物鬣（lie）羚。证明上述事实的主要证据有：证人刘德刚证言，鉴定书，被告人的供述等。本案事实清楚，证据确实、充分，足以认定。本院认为张三的行为已经触犯了《中华人民共和国刑法》第三百四十一条第一款，犯罪事实清楚，证据确实。根据《中华人民共和国刑事诉讼法》第一百七十二条的规定，提起公诉，请依法判处。
审：被告人，公诉人刚才宣读的起诉书听清楚了吗？
张三：听清楚了。
审：被告人张三，对起诉书指控的犯罪事实有无意见？
张三：有，有大大的意见。
审：下面由公诉人对被告人进行讯问。
公：张三，你是否在4月12日捕获过一只鬣羚？
张三：俺抓是抓过一只长得奇形怪状的羊，但是哪个晓得那是你说的那个鬣什么的羊。
公：对于这种不常见的动物，你不应该上报国家吗？
张三：你当俺是个憨批吗？看到一个牲畜就上报国家，那国家的门还不被踏平了哟。你哇哇你们这些个人，不去多抓一些小偷杀人犯，抓俺这个农民做啥子？
公：我们抓你是因为你猎杀国家二级保护动物
张三：哪个晓得那是国家二级保护动物哟。
公：这不是你能逃避罪责的说辞
张三：本来就是嘛，俺没见过的东西多得去了，那没见就是要保护的吗？你看看俺家隔壁那老刘头的孙子，他还跟俺说他养了只荷兰猪，俺那叫一个好奇，饭都没顾上恰就冲他家猪圈去，结果这龟孙子给俺拿出个老鼠，说城里人管这叫荷兰猪，俺滴个乖乖，老鼠都叫猪了，那兔子不得成仙了？
公：审判长，公诉人发问完毕。
审：辩护人可以对被告进行发问。辩护人，是否需要发问？
辩：有的。被告人，这鬣羚是不是你猎杀的？
张三：抓是俺抓，杀不是俺杀。
辩：谁杀的？
张三：刘德刚那货杀的，那家伙可是俺村里数一数二的杀猪人，据说他杀猪是万花丛中过，片叶不沾身，血都没有。不过俺觉得这是骗人的，哪个杀猪身上不沾血的？
辩：描述下，你是怎么联系刘德刚，又是怎么通过刘德刚将鬣羚买给孙权的？
张三：其实俺那天就是想逮个野猪，哪晓得你说的那东西自己送上门撞上了俺的陷阱。俺看着它长得奇怪，本想养着看看，或者杂交个啥新品种出来。结果刘德刚来俺家收猪的时候，看到了你说的那东西，说这玩意值钱，城里人爱吃，让俺卖给他。俺当然不卖啦，刘德刚那家伙出了名的鸡贼，真的是人长得白，心却那么的黑，他连他岳父老子都要坑一波，难道不会坑俺？俺聪明呀，俺就是不卖，但是他跟俺说这玩意值好几万，俺一年到头累死累活也挣不了几万块，就这长得乱七八糟的羊，居然值个好几万，你说你们城里人是不是有钱没地方花，没地方给我呀，你看俺这袜子就这个洞都破了好几年了，都没给补上！（说完脱下鞋露出破洞的袜子，将脚抬起来给大伙看。）
审：被告人把脚放下，继续陈述。
张三（放下脚）：刘德刚跟俺说，他找买家，让俺给笔辛苦费，俺想想也行，毕竟俺也不认识几个城里人，让俺自己卖说不定这羊死了，俺都没卖出去。然后刘德刚有天就带了油头粉面的西装竹竿男来俺家，说是买家。看了俺的羊当场决定给2万，你不知道俺一听这话，心里乐的开出了花，结果刘德刚说不行，把俺给整蒙了，结果哪晓得竹竿男直接开口到5万，哎呀，我滴乖乖，怪不得人人都说刘德刚鸡贼，你瞧这小崽子一个不行，就给我多赚了3万。
辩：你说的竹竿男是孙权？
张三：对对对，就孙权，三国里的孙权。
辩：继续说。
张三：后来孙权给了钱，刘德刚那货就问俺要辛苦费，还说多挣了三3万要多给一些。俺开心，俺就多抽了一百给他，这龟儿子居然不乐意，这羊是俺辛苦猎的，他就动动嘴皮子，他就能拿5100，还不乐意！真的是见钱眼开。
辩：审判长，我的问话完了。
审：公诉人，还有什么要问的吗？
公：有的。
公（面对被告人）：他的供词里是说你给的5100里面还夹了几张假钞。
张三：假钞咋了，那也是别人给俺的呀。
公：之后呢？
张三：之后就是这样，这龟儿子把俺给告了，然后你们就抓了俺，说俺猎杀国家保护动物，说要坐牢。俺就是抓了头羊，这就要坐牢？
公：是的，根据《中华人民共和国刑法》第三百四十一条规定，将会处于五年以下的有期徒刑，并处罚金；情节严重的，将处五年以上及十年以下有期徒刑，并处罚金。
张三：法官大人呀，俺就是抓了一头羊，俺真不知道这是野生动物，俗话说得好不知者无罪，您不能判俺坐牢呀。
公：法律不会因为你说不知道而不对你做出惩罚。
张三吓得瘫坐在椅子上全身抖动
审：快，看看他怎么了？
人员围过来查看情况，张三突然抬头说：那我挣得那些钱呢？
公：将会充公。
张三听后瘫坐在椅子上。
审：被告人是否有不舒服，是否需要就医？
张三痛哭：不舒服，心里不舒服，俺的钱呀。俺再也不猎杀奇怪的动物了，以后看到一定会上报国家，求大人法外开恩，俺还有孩子要养，老婆要照顾。
审：被告人张三，现在你可以就本案的事实、证据，最新有无及轻重，对犯罪的认识以及定罪、量刑方面的要求等，做最后的陈述。
张三：大人，俺已经深刻意识到了自己的错误，俺以后保证再也不猎杀国家二级保护动物，还请大人看在俺上有老下有小的情况下，法外开恩啊，大人。
审：经过合议庭合议，现在宣告口头判决：因念及被告人初犯对于国家保护动物种类不清楚，且事后也积极配合调查，综合考虑本案事实，依据《中华人民共和国刑法》第三百四十一条规定，对被告人张三判处有期徒刑一年六个月，缓刑两年，并处罚金3000元人民币，并没收捕获野生动物的铁制兽夹。
张三：谢谢大人，谢谢《中华人民共和国刑法》，谢谢，谢谢。

Ⅰ A sketch or script about campus violence, or an incident will also work

A sketch about campus violence, a story about a failed robbery and a beautiful story in the end:

"Campus" Anti-Violence Sketch - Robbery"

Mechanical Science and Engineering Sun Chaochao

Characters: Brother A and B and three of his subordinates. A couple Bingding. A tough female man. Two security guards.

Two sophomore college students appeared. B pulls A and runs away. (Background music, you are the wind and I am the sand)

A: Hey, (the music stops) look around, how can we walk on this road? (pulls the hand apart), this deserted place Xiao Shulin, you don’t have any plans for me, do you? (Shyly) I am a good-looking man from a good family.

B: What are you thinking of? (patting A’s head) We’re almost late. Why don’t we take a walk? Look at you like that (look with disdain). With a beer belly and bow legs, who would like you? . Go quickly. Otherwise you will be late.

A: Stomp your feet, sissy. Orchid pointed and said, "Hate, you...you are shameless, you...dirty, you are telling the truth, wuwu, then follow up.

Background music (Let's watch the meteor shower)

p>

The Four Campus King Kongs appear. (Slow motion, imitating F4)

The music stops.

The leader: (Imitating Stephen Chow's movements in Kung Fu) Stop, My classmates and brothers, my hands are itchy recently and I want to go online, but I don’t have any money, so I borrow some money to spend. (Like a ruffian)

A: Hurry and hold on to your schoolbag , no...no money. Hiding behind B.

B: I...I have no money either. Run

B pulled A and wanted to run away, but was stopped by the other three People surrounded.

The music started, tragic music. The two were besieged. Slow motion. (Wensong style girl fist)

During the melee, B saw the body of the leader knife, B was pushed down, and B fell to the ground and fainted. A had no choice but to abandon the bag and half-helped B.

(After the four kings got the bag, they left the scene happily)

< p>A: He took out his handkerchief and cried sweetly. Brother, brother, please wake up, touch A’s face, and say: There is nothing I can do. Without you, innocence is of no use! There was a look on his face as if he was ready to die. Then he tried to Do artificial respiration. The music starts (I do)

B: Jump up quickly, oh, what are you doing, what are you doing. Run to the front, all the sisters and sisters here, I am still single, attribute It is absolutely normal. He stepped back and looked at A with disgust.

A: (embarrassed) Brother, brother, you are not dead. I thought you were dead. Haha.

< p>Why should B die? Didn’t you see that man had a big thing on his waist? Fortunately I was smart, otherwise he would have really died. (Arms on hips proudly)

A: (Plop, Kneeling on the ground) Brother, my life has been saved, but what can I do with the money? My dad fought against bricks for a month to earn me a month’s living expenses and then it’s gone. Oh, ah, heaven, ah, bigEarth.

B: Okay, stop being so arrogant, what are you doing with useless things. This way I have an idea. Not only have we been robbed once, we are considered experienced. Why don't the two of us rob others? In this way, we can make up for the money that was robbed, and we can also subsidize our family. Why not do it.

A: Stand up and say righteously, Brother, point at B, you...why are you so...smart? B: That's A:, with a firm look on his face, he said, OK, it's settled, just watch, someone will come later, who will I rob, please see clearly. B: OK.

The mighty man comes on stage: he walks on stage and shows off his muscles in front of two people A and B. A, embarrassed, holds his pockets and looks at the sky.

B: Smiling evilly, hey, come on.

A: It’s a shame to say that you can’t do it.

B: Haha, aren’t you ruthless? (A pushes B down)

A: When you see the man coming, you quickly do pee. Tell B to shut up.

Wait for the man to come to the other side.

B: Haha. Brother, you are quite cowardly.

A: Who is scared? I won’t be scared. Come with me.

B: Okay, I’ll watch.

A: Walk up and pat the man on the shoulder.

The man turned his head, A ran away, and the man and B looked at each other.

The man glared angrily, while the man smiled in embarrassment.

The man was fierce: What are you doing?

B: Hahaha. How embarrassing,

Man: Embarrassing, why did you hit me?

Helpless. Shaking his head, he took out a money bag from his shoe. Ju Lou said, hey hey hey, your wallet fell out of your pocket.

Man: I looked B up and down, my ```

B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The man grabbed the money bag: Thank you. He was about to put it in his pocket, but found that there was no pocket

B and the man looked at each other and smiled. The man put his money bag under his arm. He smiled and left.

B was making gestures from behind, wanting to hit the man. Then he turned around and shouted to Jia, "Come here."

A ran over. B: I’ll just turn around once and take a stroll.

A said; (with a look of hatred for steel) Brother, what are you doing? Isn’t it robbery? Why did you pay me back? He's taller and stronger, so how could he be so scared? I promised you the experience, but why didn’t I grab it? Let’s do it this way. When someone comes, I’ll rob it for you to see. I’ll rob whoever comes, just watch.

B: OK, OK, I’ll watch.

A girl skipped by.

A: Yell, stop.

The girl seemed not to hear and walked over.

A said awkwardly: That girl, eh, come back soon.

B: Sneer, why aren’t you ruthless?

A: No, the girl didn’t hear it.

B: (laughing), you can’t, you have to look at me when dealing with girls.

A: OK, come on.

Yi tidied himself up and acted like a ruffian. Shouting, beauty, come here.

The girl and the previous guy appear. B was immediately frightened.

Hanzi: You...you.... Call me girlfriend, tell me, is it you? B looks at A with an innocent face

A: Put it in your pocket, yes, it’s you.

Man: What’s the point of calling me your girlfriend?

A: What's the matter? Tell me

B smiled apologetically: Hey hey hey, it's so embarrassing. Hey, isn't this Girls' Day? He gave the girl money (touched all over his body and took it out) 100 yuan)

Go buy flowers. Happy Girls' Day. Hehehehehehehe.

Hanzi: Oh, that’s right. I hugged the girl and thanked her brother.

B: Thank you, brother. After speaking, he covered his mouth.

(The man, the girl exits.)

A: Hey hey hey, brother, now there is no money left. Be happy.

A: Hey, I just figured it out. We can’t rob a man, nor can we rob a woman who has a boyfriend. If we have the ability, let’s do this. Let’s rob the old, weak, sick and disabled. .

A: Seriously, brother, what are you talking about? Give B a push with your fist. You have some backbone. I appreciate it.

B: Yes, I’ve thought it through. Let’s take care of the lone girl now, hahaha.

A weak-looking girl appeared with a package in her hand.

A: Hey, big brother, big brother, here is a girl. He looks weak, otherwise we would rob him.

B: I’m sorry. Just as he was about to take action, he turned to A and said, “Go take a look around first.”

A: I found out that no one told B, so I reported to the elder brother that no one was there

B: I’m sorry, let’s take a look.

B walked over and the girl suddenly took out a knife from her bag

A: What is going on?

B: I’m all confused.

Girl: Stop talking nonsense and give me the money. Threatened with knife.

B: No, eldest sister, calm down, eldest sister, I really have no money.

Girl: Dui A, how about you.

A: No, I am a poor student. I usually don’t have much money, so I took out a one-yuan coin.

Girl: I will kill him if he doesn’t take the money

A: Well, I have no money.

B: Hey, that’s not what you had in your pocket just now.

A: Brother, (covers his pocket) Brother, you want to touch my money.

B: Yes

A: Brother, others don’t know, don’t you know? This money, this money is what I will pay for eating wontons tomorrow.

B: Hey. How embarrassing. No, alas. Which is more important, me or eating wontons? ’

A goes away

B: Why are you going?

A: I am thinking about it. B, come back, I still have to think about this nonsense

A: Brother, don’t force me.In my heart, you and wonton are both very important. Come on, brother, let me analyze it for you.

The wontons are soft and can fill my stomach. Right. And you, big brother... react to. Wontons are important.

B: Hey, hey, so embarrassing. Come and kill me quickly

Girl: Okay, you two, don’t do this to me. There is no money, right? If there is no money, I will do it. 1, 2

B: Wait, sister, it seems I can’t escape this disaster. Before I die, can I say a few words to my brother? Wutou pondered, you idiot, my eldest brother may not be able to escape the disaster. I hope I can still be friends with you in the next life.

A: He, brother...brother.

B: Brother...Brother...(repeat) (sad background music) A pulls B out in slow motion, and then stabs himself with a knife. Fall to the ground.

The music stops.

Girl: Kicked A with her foot. What are you doing? What are you doing? I didn’t move either, oh my god, why don’t you do this in slow motion? , you are. A and B giggle. B: It’s so embarrassing.

Girl: I understand. You want to die for him, right? Then I will help you. Yeah

A: Wait a minute, eldest sister, I have something to say to my brother. Brother, I will still be your brother in the next life.

B: Brother

A: He, brother.

(Repeat) (Sad music in the background) Slow motion A pulls B out and then tries to stab himself with a knife. The girl collapsed, took out two knives, and placed them on his necks.

The music stops.

Girl: Stop, now you two are satisfied.

A: This is fair.

Girl: I’ll send you two on your way.

Four Diamonds: Stop.

The Four King Kongs come on stage. (Meteor Shower Theme Song)

The Four King Kongs: I planted this tree, I planted this mountain, if I want to live from now on, I will leave money to buy the road.

A and B: No, no, what’s going on, it’s him again.

Girl: Brother, the dragon in the sky covers the tiger in the earth.

Big Brother: Chicken stewed with mushrooms.

The girl and her eldest brother spin in circles together. Fellow colleagues (background music. Finally waiting for you). Embrace.

Big brother: Just be reasonable when you come out to hang out. Since you are not with him for a while, just leave.

The girl turned around and spoke to A and B. I am leaving.

A: Walk slowly. Darling

B: Walk slowly, brother and sister.

Brother; what did you say?

Girl; Hey, you heard wrong.

Eldest brother: darling, younger brother and sister. You go back to me.

A and B: Celebrating gestures.

The girl went back aggrieved.

The Four King Kongs were collecting money...

Two students wearing red vests, Bing Ding, passed by.

Bing stepped forward and said: I just said in the woods Nothing good will happen here. Someone is stealing money, go and help.

Ding Lazhu: You are stupid. There are so many people. If there are knives, I would feel so bad if they hurt you.

C said: What should we do?

Ding: Mysterious theory. Just a few numbers. 85095110,

C: Hi, isn’t that the security office’s alarm number? You fight or I fight. Ding was about to answer, but C said I would fight.

Bingding exits.

Two security guards came up and said. No movement allowed. I am the security guard of our college. I am responsible for the personal and property safety of our entire college and all students. With our security here, we will not let you people infringe on the legitimate rights and interests of the students.

Security: Are you okay, classmate? Here’s your money.

A and B are fine: Thank you, uncle,

The police and prisoners exited.

A: Brother, we are both safe now. Haha

B: Haha. Two idiots. Should we still grab it?

A: No, no, I won’t steal it.

B: In the future.

A: I won’t steal it in the future either.

B: Uh-huh. , like an old master, a child can be taught, go to class.

While exiting, he said, Brother, do you think we can still catch up?

Yes, definitely. If you make a mistake, it is always good to correct it promptly.

The actor in the red vest appears. We want to remind everyone that school violence must be eradicated. Correcting your mentality is the most important thing.

School is my home. Safety protection depends on everyone.

Ⅱ Why don’t people younger than Andy Lau like to watch TV now?

Andy Lau is one of the four kings known to everyone, and his name is well-known at home and abroad. He is a famous actor and singer so he is very famous. Lu Han is a young actor and is very famous in the entertainment industry. He is also very talented in singing. So both of them are very famous.

III Xiao Shenyang has now been removed from the sketch world. Who has he offended?

Xiao Shenyang has now been removed from the sketch world. Who has he offended?

I don’t think Xiao Shenyang offended anyone, because Xiao Shenyang’s style may be like this. He became very popular after attending the Spring Festival Gala. Even an hour after the Spring Festival Gala, he Maybe all our people are familiar with his image, so many people, and the image he created is very popular. Some people are obsessed with it and think that Xiao Shenyang is one, so many people praise him and let him act in TV series. He sang and all kinds of things.

The above is my answer to this question. I hope my answer can be helpful to everyone. Friends who like it can like and follow it in the comment area below. I will actively interact with everyone.

Ⅳ How do you evaluate Zhao Benshan?

Personally, I think Zhao Benshan is the well-deserved king of sketches. Although since "Yesterday, Today, Only after tomorrow" did he start winning first prize for his sketches every year.Although this has something to do with the death of teacher Zhao Lirong and Chen Peisi not attending the Spring Festival Gala. But starting from 2000, people’s greatest expectation for the Spring Festival Gala was Zhao Benshan. Besides laughter, his sketches from 1999 to 2008 also brought us some thoughts. Some of them described the current situation of society, such as the loneliness of lonely old people; some of them satirized the literary and art world. , like a sketch about a rooster laying eggs. The classic lines will become the buzzwords of the year, instead of making Internet buzzwords into skits like now.

?, only Zhao Benshan. Teacher Pan Changjiang also commented that he is the real king of sketches.

The turning point was in 2009. That year, Song Dandan and Fan Wei didn’t want to go to the Spring Festival Gala, and Zhao Benshan couldn’t find a partner (in response to a reporter’s question, he said that Fan Wei was now a big player and would play He stopped answering the phone. The two stopped cooperating from that year on, and then they began to boldly use all apprentices. It can also be said that Xiao Shenyang's popularity also benefited from the retirement of his predecessors. Starting in 2009, Zhao Benshan would bring his apprentices to the Spring Festival Gala for three consecutive years. It was also from this time on that the quality of the sketches dropped sharply, and the jokes tended to be vulgar. The sketches themselves had nothing to think about, they just tickled you and made you laugh. . (But other people's sketches were better, so the first prize for sketches was still given in three years)
It can be said that Zhao Benshan's works in the past three years have made him somewhat unsafe. One is that he has health problems, and the fields that Benshan Media is involved in More and more, it can be said that Uncle Benshan is a little distracted. There is also the decline of traditional sketch and folk art programs. A large number of sketch actors have begun to transform into film and television actors, and Zhao Benshan cannot find a capable partner.

IV Well, I am a middle school student and want to write a sketch similar to He Jiong and MARY's "Super Happy Insole". Please help me provide some classic advertising slogans

### #National sales lead for six years, the insoles together can stink twice around the earth

Ⅵ Why are more and more sketch actors no longer attending the Spring Festival Gala?

Because of the current entertainment form in the entertainment industry There are many, such as talk shows, cross talk, and many folk art programs that are quite exciting, and sketches do not play a major role

Ⅶ What is the most cute and cute name for a girl’s teddy dog?

Choose the name you like, just make it smooth.

Ⅷ Zhao Benshan, the king of sketches of the generation, was involved in serious violations of the law, and the 1.3 billion film and television project went bankrupt! What do you think?

Since 2013, Zhao Benshan announced his official withdrawal from the CCTV Spring Festival Gala stage and his permanent withdrawal from the sketch world. Since then, he has rarely been seen on the screen. Zhao Benshan, the king of sketches of the generation, was suspected of serious violations, and his company's film and television projects worth 1.3 billion were in vain. The building that was once the anchor of the Spring Festival Gala is about to collapse, revealing the inside story of Benshan Media’s decline.

Wang Sicong

The day after he scolded Zhao Benshan, the opening scene of someone hitting his head with a wine bottle happened. Later, Wang Sicong's ""Crazy words" reached Zhao Benshan's ears, and he only responded lightly: "Children, don't talk nonsense."

Ⅸ All the lines in the sketch

[Song Dynasty]: Hehe... We walk half way up the road. My motto in life is to sleep wherever I fall, because I am a very dedicated and professional person. My mother once told me that a person can't cook. The chef is not a good driver at all.

Hey, what exactly do I do? Don’t worry, I’ll know it soon. I need to get all the equipment out. Don’t worry, hey, this box needs Password, don't worry, everyone must pay attention. Don't worry, hum, don't worry, you can't guess it. Don't worry, my newspaper is here. Hey, let's go (whistle)

[Text ]: ONE TWO Three

[Song]: Oops

[Article]: Oh my god

[Song]: Oops

[Article]: Me

[Song]: Wow

[Article]: What the hell, uncle, what the hell, uncle

[Song]: Step on me Waist

[Article]: Oh my god, it’s so amazing

[Song]: Ah

[Article]: I step on your waist

[Song]: Ah

[Wen]: Then why don’t I feel anything?

[Song]: Look at your shame

[Article]: You scared me to death

[Song]: If you had feelings, you would have trampled me to death

[Article]: Why are you talking so scary?

[Song]: Your feet are hot at the Flame Mountain. Stand at attention and sit down.

[Text]: What's wrong, sir?

[Song]: You Look what you look like

[Article]: Mermaid

[Song]: I don’t think you have a human shape. What if you stepped on me?

[Article]: Then let’s go to the hospital to take a photo

[Song]: Are you busy?

[Article]: Quite busy

[Song]: I knew you were very busy. When you came here just now, I guessed that you were going to step on me, so I took all the pictures. Look, this one is a comminuted fracture of the lower leg bone. Wrong, this is used when hitting a big truck. This picture shows a comminuted fracture of the head from the bottom to the tail and up.

[Article]: Oh my god, it’s so amazing. I’ll trample you to nothing with my kick. Vertebrates

[Song]: Don’t talk nonsense to me. Tell me what to do about this. Get the money.

[文]: I didn’t bring any money

[Song]: Do you have a card?

[Wen]: Do you have a card?

[Song]: That’s great. I have a mobile POS machine here

[ Wen]: No, uncle, is this equipment tailor-made for me?

[Song]: I am purely professional, do you understand?

[文]: Ah

[Song]: Do you want an invoice? "When you open stationery, do you also say bathing?"

[文]: No

[Song Dynasty]: Don’t take the invoice and take the card

[Wen]: Give it

[Song Dynasty]: bu ling bu ling bu ling bu ling. It doesn’t work. What the hell? The main project of the Children’s Star Beauty Club is breast enlargement and butt lift

[文]: Uncle, let me tell you, this is a card from my store

[Song]: I want it Bank card

[Text]: Why didn’t you tell me about the bank card earlier? No

[Song]: You don’t have one. What are you talking about here? Hurry up and call someone to send money. Come

[文]: Don’t you just want money

[Song]: Yes

[文]: How much is it

< p>[Song]: Eight hundred

[Wen]: Uncle, if you look carefully, can you tell what I do?

[Song]: What do you want to do for money

p>

【文】: Let me tell you that I am an aerobics instructor. One class costs exactly one thousand yuan. I will give you a 20% discount today, which is eight hundred yuan. Let’s settle everything

[Song]: What are you doing?

[Wen]: Teach you aerobics

[Song]: I don’t want to learn

[Wen]: If you don’t want to learn, you have to take a look and then charge me. I will never step on your music in vain

[Song]: Hey

[Article]: Wow

< p>[Song]: No, no, no, stop, oh, my God, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[文]: No,

[Song]: Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Before I leave, let me ask you a question. Are you a man or a woman?

【文】: Oh my god, how can you ask me such a question in front of so many people? I can only give you five words. I really hate you

[Song]: There are so many people who hate me, who do you think is the boss?

[Article]: Bahhhh

[Song]: Shishi It's not good to meet someone like this when you go out. What will the next one be like? Let's wait and see {Yang Bing comes on}

[Yang]: {Singing} You are my eyes but I can't see them To your past

[Song]: Ah

[Yang]: Ah

[Song]: Oops

[Yang] ]: Ouch

[Song]: Ouch

[Yang]: Ouch

[Song]: Ouch

[Yang] : What’s up

[Song]: Hey, you’re pressing on my foot

[Yang]: I’m pressing on your foot

[Song]: On your own Take a look

[Yang]: It’s not suppressed

[Song]: What’s your look?Look again

[Yang]: Ah, it’s suppressed this time

[Song]: It’s suppressed, right?

[Yang]: Oops

[Song]: What should I do if you hold me down?

[Yang]: Uncle

[Song]: Ah

[Yang] 】: Are you a porcelain person?

[Song]: Ah

[Yang]: Hey hey, then I will give you the money

[Song] : Did you see that this is the person who is doing the work? If you touch me, you will pay me quickly without wasting anyone’s time. Since you are so honest, I will introduce you to my charging standard

[Yang]: Ah

[Song]: I usually spend five hundred yuan on my feet, one thousand yuan on my feet, one thousand five hundred yuan on my feet. Now seeing that you have such a good attitude, I think you are half a match or not. Eight hundred yuan is reasonable. No

[Yang]: The price is very reasonable

[Song]: Can you accept it?

[Yang]: I can’t accept it. I asked someone to buy it the day before yesterday I'll pay you a thousand if I touch you. Hehehe

[Song]: Look why I'm so cheap. Because I make small profits but quick turnover

[Yang]: Ah

[Song]: If you know, I will leave as long as I can see the profit

[Yang]: That uncle

[Song]: Ah

[Yang]: I don’t have a penny in my pocket right now

[Song]: It’s useless to talk to me about not having a penny less

[Yang]: No, no I’m not an uncle like you. Just listen to me.

[Song]: Ah

[Yang]: I am a very honest person

[ Song]: Ah

[Yang]: What about me, please give me some time

[Song]: It will definitely be difficult for you to leave

[Yang] :I definitely won’t leave. Just cooperate with me. Just don’t move. We’ll stay here for a while. When I earn enough money, I’ll give it to you, okay?

[Song]: You must be able to get me money. I can cooperate with you in any way

[Yang]: If it’s done, just wait for me for a while

[Song]: But don’t let me work, do you understand?

< p>[Yang]: I can't let you work

[Song]: What do you want

[Yang]: Thank you for being a good man and having a safe life. Thank you

[Song]: Stop it, what are you doing?

[Yang]: Can't I make money for you?

[Song]: I'll use you if you make money like this. The money was given to me. I know it’s not you who pulls it off well, but I’m too pitiful. How about we stop making trouble like this? I’ll give you two hundred yuan and you can leave quickly

[Yang]: Then you are so How can I ask for your money if I can't talk?

[Song]: I can see that I am a porcelain person and you are a porcelain person.

[Yang]: You Ah, listen to me, I won’t give you this money today either.Don't give it to me. There are risks in your business. One day, when your legs are discounted, then you come to me. Can I leave you a business card? There are few people in your area. You go to the small square. There are so many people over there

[Song]: Ah

[Yang]: I’m just talking nonsense over there, and you’re kneeling over there. We both earn 800 yuan a day, just like playing. Like a child

[Song]: Please don't introduce me

[Yang]: Just listen to me, goodbye

[Song]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, bumping into a person on the sidewalk and bumping into a cyclist is quite embarrassing today. Let me see if a luxury car can come over and let me bump into it. Ah

[Song]: Oops

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oops, keep going forward. Oops, keep going.

< p>[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oops, my feet are pressed, ouch

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oops

p>

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oops

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oops, female driver< /p>

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, wait a minute

[Jiao]: ah< /p>

[Song]: Don’t move, don’t come out to the rehearsal, I’m not forcing you to go back

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oh, come out

p>

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Oops

[Jiao]: Oh my god {say it in English}

[Song]: No more pressing

[Jiao]: Ah

[Song]: Ah

[Jiao]: You Are you okay, uncle?

[Song]: Look, my legs are already broken here. If they were bigger, they would be broken.

[Jiao]: Uncle {Said in English Encore} I just came here from Hong Kong

[Song]: Where are you?

[Jiao]: Hong Kong

[Song]: Oh, from Hegang, Heilongjiang

[Jiao]: Ah, uncle {say encore in English}, what do you want?

[Song]: Take your time and see what you do If the uncle is hit, then you can give me money

[Jiao]: I didn’t bring any RMB

[Song]: Hong Kong dollars are fine too

[ Jiao]: I was in a hurry when I went out.

[Song]: Young people are unreliable if they want to default on their debts. It's useless to talk to me.

[Jiao]: Wow< /p>

[Song]: I have to prepare the scene first

[Jiao]: Oh my God {Say it in English}

[ Song]: Hey

[Jiao]: Oh wow

[Song]: Hey, the scene has been prepared

[Jiao]: Oh

[Song]: You young people, let me tell you the truth, do you know? I don’t believe anyone. Don’t talk to me about that useless thing. You’re in a close-up. Okay

[Jiao]: Oh my god {Say buy it in English}

[Song]: Hey, very professional

[Jiao]: Uncle {Say encore in English} You are so international and so fashionable {Say yes in English and you can turn around}

[Song]: Do you think this kid has a long-term heart? I've been bumped into like this and you still say how can I turn over if I don't turn over?

[Jiao]: I mean, you are very professional when it comes to porcelain. Oh, uncle {says encore in English} I think it’s really problematic for us to communicate like this {says inserting in English}

[Song]: It’s not a problem {says not inserting in English Bao} You are almost making me so angry. Just do this. Find someone who can communicate clearly with me and ask him to bring money to do this. Do you have any friends in Mainland China?

[Jiao] : My husband is from Mainland China

[Song]: Call me quickly

[Jiao]: But my husband fights in UFC kickboxing

[Song] 】: Who are you trying to scare? You can give him UFC whatever C he wants. I have the ability to let him send me back to the west

[Jiao]: Uncle {say the encore in English}, but you will be like this in three seconds. KO you

[Song]: Oh, don’t scare me with KOKO. It’ll be fine when he comes

[Jiao]: I’ll call you then

[Song]: Come on, these young people are unreliable

[Jiao]: Hey husband, I’m in trouble, he’s cheating, come quickly, come to the scene, come and help OKOKOK

[Song]: No KO

[Jiao]: Oh uncle {say encore in English} But I still have to remind you, when my husband comes, you must be careful Don't look into his eyes. He has an occupational disease. Everyone in the circle calls him a little beast. When you look into his eyes, he thinks you are provoking him and he will KO you in minutes

[Song ]: I just can’t look at him

[Jiao]: Don’t look at him

[Song]: Why don’t I believe it? Let him cripple my whole body. If I break my bones, I will have land in the next life

[Tian]: Who is the cheater? Who is the cheater? {Looking at the audience}

[Jiao]: No

[Tian]: {challenge to the audience}Watch what I do. Do you want to challenge me? Believe it or not, I will KO you or something.

[Jiao]: Calm down

[Tian]: Guillotine

[Jiao]: Oh, you are not him, husband, hurry up and admit defeat, slap him three times, hurry up

[Tian]: It's your fault. Fast

[Jiao]: You got the wrong person, husband! The porcelain guy is behind you

[Jiao]: Oh, no, husband

[Tian]: Why do you look at it like that? I'm ahhhhh

[Jiao]: Husband, you are such a tiger, let me go, hurry up

[Tian]: What's wrong

[ Jiao]: Am I cheating on this tiger?

[Tian]: Ah

[Jiao]: Oh, my husband, the cheater is behind you

< p>[Tian]: Oh, honey, I’m sorry, I lost control again. I told you not to look into my eyes

[Jiao]: Behind you, behind you

[Tian ]: Where

[Jiao]: What's behind

[Tian]: Are you touching me

[Song]: Ah

[Tian]: Did you touch porcelain?

[Song]: I didn’t even move, it’s just here

[Tian]: Come out of the circle

[Song]: I can’t get out of this circle

[Tian]: Why

[Song]: Wukong hasn’t come back yet

[Tian]: Are you bullying my wife, who is from Hong Kong?

[Song]: I have evidence

[Tian]: It won’t work if you follow me

[Song]: I have evidence

[Tian]: What evidence

[Song]: I left photos at the scene. I took them just now

[Tian 】: Is this you? Are you confused? Is this you?

【Song】: Look, this is useless. Why don’t you talk about me? Didn’t I just wear glasses? You, you? See if that’s me. Take a look for yourself. Hey, hey, hey.

[Jiao]: Hey, husband [hey, someone is here quickly]

[Tian]: Are you dissatisfied?

[Yang]: Hey, hey, stop

[Tian]: Believe it or not, I will lock you up

[Yang]: Stop, stop, stop, stop. Ouch, ouch, ouch, stop

[Song]: Oops, you are hurting my waist

[Yang]: What are you telling me? His waist is not good, why are you doing so hard?

[Tian]: He looked at my eyes

[Song]: You are such a rude person, why don’t you act like this?

(9) Extended reading of the currency circle sketch:

The cast of the sketch "Porcelain":

1. Song Xiaobao

Song Xiaobao, whose real name is Song Baoli, Born on January 5, 1981, in Guangming Village, Loujie Township, Huinan County, Tonghua City, Jilin Province, he is the 32nd apprentice of Mr. Zhao Benshan, an actor and comedy performance artist from Mainland China.

In 2009, he became famous for participating in the variety show "Benshan Happy Camp".

In 2011, due to participating in the Liaoning Satellite TV Spring Festival Gala, she collaborated with her master Zhao Benshan.He gained more attention for his sketch "Blind Date".

In August 2012, he participated in the 4th New Rural TV Art Festival and won the Best Actor for his TV series "Cherry". On December 10 of the same year, he participated in the 8th Huading Awards and won the Best Actor in the Contemporary category for his TV series "Cherry".

In October 2013, he won the 10th Huading Award for the actor most popular with Chinese media.

In August 2014, he participated in the 13th Huading Awards and won the Best Actor Award for Chinese Contemporary TV Series for his TV series "Cherry Red".

In 2015, he participated in China's first celebrity comedy competition reality show "Happy Comedian Season 1". On November 5 of the same year, he participated in the celebration party of "Let's Time Travel". On December 9 of the same year, he sang the promotional song "The Past Can Only Be Reminisced" for the movie "Detective Chinatown".

On December 13, 2016, he sang the theme song "The whole world is speaking Northeastern dialect" of the movie "Once Upon a Time in the Northeast: Zhang Fei".

2. Jiaojiao

Jiaojiao, female, whose real name is Zhang Yujiao, was born in 1986. She is a member of the "Unknown Group" and an actor under Benshan Media.

Learned to sing duet in 2004. In 2009, he joined the Liaoning Folk Art Troupe and began performing on the "Liu Laogen Stage".

In 2009, he participated in the filming of Liaoning Satellite TV's "New Laughing Forest" and "Star Turn".

The 2010 Liaoning TV Spring Festival Gala skit "Crazy Fans" (playing the role of "Singapore Jiaojiao").

In 2011, he formed the "Unknown Group" with Zhang Yao and won the annual runner-up in CCTV's "Avenue of Stars".

The 2011 Liaoning TV Spring Festival Gala skit "Crazy Tour Group".

In 2012, Jiaojiao participated in the TV series "The 22nd Marriage Rules", playing the role of "Xiaoyue", the sister of the protagonist "Zhang Duo" played by Song Xiaobao.

The 2012 Liaoning TV Spring Festival Gala skit "Crazy Treasure Appraisal Group" (playing the role of "Galaha Expert").

In 2013, she participated in the 2013 CCTV Spring Festival Gala "I Want to Go to the Spring Festival Gala" with Zhang Yao, Zhou Wei, Shitou, Ding Delong, Liu Dacheng, Zhang Xuemin, and Sun Chaoyang (playing the girl who sang "Uneasy" in the cleaning team ).

3. Wensong

Wensong, formerly known as Shi Wensong, was born in Yingkou City, Liaoning Province on June 9, 1986. He is a film and television actor in Mainland China.

In 2014, he completed his first TV series and participated in the rural comedy "Harvest Season" starring Zhao Benshan, Yu Zhenyu, and Xiao Shenyang, thus officially entering the entertainment industry.

In 2015, as an assistant, he participated in the Oriental TV comedy competition program "Happy Comedian" with the Song Xiaobao team of the Liaoning Folk Art Troupe; on October 27, he participated in the urban comedy movie "Mountain Pao Enters" City" premiere.

In 2016, he participated in Zhejiang Satellite TV’s original indoor competitive reality show "Ace vs. Ace";On March 2, the urban comedy movie "Mountain Cannon Enters the City 2" co-starring Xiao Shenyang, Liu Xiaoguang, and Song Xiaofeng was released; on October 17, the costume comedy "Happy Secret Agent" co-starring Bao Beier, Liu Yan, and Wang Ou premiered on In the play, she plays Qiu Qingyue, Long Dinghai’s subordinate.

In 2017, he participated in the Oriental TV comedy reality show "Happy Comedian Season 3" and won the finals championship with the sketch "New Langya Bang"; in April, with Qin Hao, Xie Nan and Leng Zhong Yi co-starred in the comedy film "The Strong Man."

In May 2017, he and his senior brother Song Xiaobao participated in Dragon TV's star challenge competition show "The Legend of Laughter"; subsequently, he co-starred with Cheng Yi and Ala Lei in the action comedy movie "Rescue the Dog".

On September 29, 2017, the comedy movie "Sewing Machine Band" starring Dong Chengpeng was released. Wensong played a member of the Broken Guitar Band in the film; later, he starred in the Republic of China sitcom with Jia Bing and Gu Baoming "Fengtian Hotel", he plays the male lead in the drama, playing Zhu Yiqun, the son of a hotel tycoon.

On January 26, 2018, the comedy movie "S4 Conquering the Demons" starring Liu Xiaoguang was released, in which he played Xiao Niu, the son of security guard Lao Niu; on April 29, with Xiu Rui and The comedy movie "Scream Live" starring Xia Zitong and Chen Ziyan was released. In the film, he plays the male lead, playing the role of "Seven Fairies", a veteran nightclub player with a feminine temperament.

4. Yang Shulin

Yang Shulin, whose real name is Yang Bing, was born in Tieling City, Liaoning Province in 1986. He is the 22nd disciple of Mr. Zhao Benshan, an actor and comedy performance artist in Mainland China.

In 2009, in the Republic of China comedy "Mr. Guandong", he played the role of "Little Dunzi", the bodyguard beside Lord Belle, who is cute, kind, versatile and resourceful.

In 2011, he played the second-in-command of the hotel "Jia Chenglong" in the indoor sitcom "Everyone Is Coming".

In 2012, he gained more attention after participating in the Spring Festival Gala of the Ministry of Public Security and cooperating with master Zhao Benshan in the sketch "Meeting on a Narrow Road". In the same year, in the urban comedy "It's Not About the Money", he played the cute but slightly bad "Zhai Xiaoming", a member of the art team who was about to be disbanded. In the same year, he played the role of "Hou Wenbin" who was blinded by money in the tragic drama "Cherry".

In March 2013, he co-starred with Song Xiaobao and Shen Chunyang in the bitter drama "Cherry Red", playing the role of "Zhao Huzi" who both loves his father and is afraid of his wife.

In 2014, he played the brave and fearless "Little Drum Tower" in the legendary drama "Veterans" of the Republic of China. In the same year, he played the simple rural youth "Li Fengxi" in the rural family drama "Harvest Season".

In 2015, he participated in the first season of the celebrity comedy competition reality show "Happy Comedian". No matter who was the main guest, Xiao Shenyang or Song Xiaobao, there was always Yang Shulin around him. In the same year, he played the role of "driver" in the rural romance drama "Country Love March"t;Yang Guang".

In 2016, he participated in the second season of "Happy Comedian". Because of his high-quality performance in the two seasons of "Happy Comedian", he was recognized by everyone. He is also one of the top two actors in "Happy Comedian" The only comedian who was fully present during the season.

In 2017, he participated in the Beijing Satellite TV Spring Festival Gala skit "Happiness Express". In January of the same year, he participated as a resident guest in the musical comedy variety show "Awesome! My Song" ". In this program, Yang Shulin and Li Yugang jointly sang "Drunk by Drinking". The program was broadcast for half a month, and the total video views exceeded 100 million.

In May of the same year, he participated in the Xingsu Comedy Challenge The competitive show "Legend of Laughter". In May of the same year, Yang Shulin attended the opening ceremony of the soft science fiction movie "Super APP" in Guangzhou as the starring role. In July of the same year, he participated in the second season of "The King of Crossover Comedy". In the fourth program, Transformed into "hip-hop heroes" with Chu Ni and Pan Yang for crazy "embarrassing rap".

In February 2018, he and Wang Bowen participated in the Beijing Satellite TV Spring Festival Gala skit "That Night of Spring", vividly performing a A touching story that happened in a nursing home. In the same month, he and Zhao Haiyan participated in the Jishi TV Spring Festival Gala sketch "The Chariot of Love". In June of the same year, he participated in the action comedy film "Moths Crossing the River" directed by Xiao Shenyang.

Ⅹ About the script of a legal sketch! It’s urgent, I’m offering a reward of 100 points

Book: Invite the prosecutor and defender to the court
Book: Please The presiding judge and judges enter the court
Please sit down.
Book: (turn around) Report to the presiding judge that the prosecutor has arrived in court, the defendant Zhang San has been mentioned as awaiting trial, and the court preparations are ready.
Trial: (beating the hammer) The court is now in session. Defendant Zhang San is summoned to the court.
Zhang San was carried to the court by two people.
Zhang San: Don’t drag me, I will leave , drag, drag, drag, no matter how hard you drag, don’t you see that I am only 1.68 meters and you are 1.86 meters, can the steps be the same?
Zhang San was taken into the dock.
Trial: Defendant Zhang San, please describe your basic situation.
Zhang San: Your honor, my name is Zhang San. I am a simple, law-abiding proletarian farmer in Malipo Australia County. I was born on March 12, 1963. Han nationality, junior high school education, primary school diploma.
Trial: Defendant Zhang San, have you received a copy of the indictment and when?
Zhang San: Received on May 20, 2019.< br />Trial: The Criminal Tribunal of the People's Court of Jiaren District, Maripo City, in accordance with Article 172 of the "Criminal Procedure Law of the People's Republic of China", held a public hearing here today in accordance with the law for the public prosecution initiated by the Procuratorate of Maripo City. The defendant Zhang San is suspected of illegally selling rare and endangered wild animals. According to Articles 154, 159, and 160 of the Criminal Procedure Law, the parties enjoy the following rights during the trial:
(1) Can apply for members of the collegial panel, The clerk and public prosecutor recuse themselves;
(2) You can submit evidence and apply for notification of newWitnesses come to court and new evidence is obtained.
(3) The defendant may defend himself
(4) The defendant may make a final statement after the court argument is concluded.
Has the defendant heard clearly about the above rights?
Zhang San: I heard clearly, but I didn’t understand.
Jian: What didn’t you understand?
Zhang San: I didn’t even understand.
Trial: Don’t worry if you don’t understand, let’s move on to the next step first.
Trial: The court investigation will now begin, and the prosecutor will first read out the indictment.
Public (stand up): Defendant Zhang San, male, born on March 12, 1963, Han nationality, illiterate, native of Malipo, Australia County, was charged with illegally selling precious and endangered wild animals on May 3, 2019. He was criminally detained by the Forest Police Bureau of Malipo Australia County and arrested on May 13 of the same year. This case was detected and concluded by the Forest Police Bureau of Malipo Australia County, and was transferred to this court for review and prosecution on May 20, 2019. It has been found after review that the defendant Zhang San installed a noose at Feitian Mountain in Malipo Australia County on April 12 of the same year. The defendant later contacted the buyer with the help of Liu Degang and sold it to Zhang Quan for his own consumption on April 25, 2019. On May 8, 2019, the Public Security Judicial Identification Center of the State Forestry Administration successively identified the Yishao animals illegally hunted by Zhang San. It was identified that the wild animal was a national II-level key protected animal, the iguana (lie). The main evidence to prove the above facts includes: witness Liu Degang’s testimony, appraisal certificate, defendant’s confession, etc. The facts of this case are clear and the evidence is conclusive and sufficient, sufficient to establish the case. This court believes that Zhang San’s behavior has violated paragraph 1 of Article 341 of the Criminal Law of the People’s Republic of China. The criminal facts are clear and the evidence is reliable. According to the provisions of Article 172 of the "Criminal Procedure Law of the People's Republic of China", if a public prosecution is initiated, please be sentenced in accordance with the law.
Trial: Defendant, did you hear clearly the indictment just read out by the prosecutor?
Zhang San: Listen clearly.
Trial: Defendant Zhang San, does he have any opinion on the criminal facts alleged in the indictment?
Zhang San: Yes, I have a big opinion.
Trial: Next, the prosecutor will interrogate the defendant.
Mr. Zhang San, did you capture a serow on April 12?
Zhang San: I caught a strange-looking sheep, but who knew it was the hyena or something like that you mentioned.
Mr.: Shouldn’t you report this unusual animal to the country?
Zhang San: Do you think I am a fool? If you report a livestock to the country, then the door of the country will not be trampled down. You guys, if you don't catch more thieves and murderers, what are you going to do with me, a farmer?
Mr.: We arrested you because you hunted a national second-level protected animal
Zhang San: Who knew that it was a national second-level protected animal?
Mr.: This is not an excuse for you to escape responsibility
Zhang San: That’s right, there are so many things I’ve never seenIf you go, then you have to protect me if you don’t see me? Look at the grandson of Old Liu Tou next door to my house. He also told me that he raised a guinea pig. I was so curious that I rushed to his pig pen without paying attention to the meal. As a result, the grandson of the turtle was killed. I took out a mouse and said that the people in the city called it a guinea pig. I said, "Be good." If the mouse is called a pig, then the rabbit will become a fairy?
Public: The presiding judge and the prosecutor have finished asking questions.
Trial: The defender can question the defendant. Defender, do you need to ask a question?
Debate: Yes. Defendant, did you hunt this serow?
Zhang San: It’s me who catches you, but it’s not me who kills you.
Debate: Who killed him?
Zhang San: That guy Liu Degang killed him. He was one of the best pig killers in my village. It is said that he killed pigs because they were eaten by thousands of flowers. Not a single leaf touched him, and there was no blood. But I think this is a lie. Which pig is killed without blood on its body?
Debate: Please describe how you contacted Liu Degang and how you bought the serow to Sun Quan through Liu Degang?
Zhang San: Actually, I just wanted to catch a wild boar that day, but I didn’t know that the thing you mentioned came to my door and hit my trap. I noticed that it looked strange, and I wanted to keep it for a while, or maybe cross it to create a new variety. As a result, when Liu De just came to my house to collect pigs, he saw the thing you mentioned. He said that it was valuable and the people in the city liked to eat it, so he asked me to sell it to him. Of course I won't sell it. That guy Liu Degang is a famous chicken thief. He is really fair-looking but has such a dark heart. He even tried to trick his father-in-law and me, wouldn't he trick me? I'm smart, I just won't sell it, but he told me that this thing is worth tens of thousands, and I can't earn tens of thousands even if I work hard all year round, but this messy-looking sheep is actually worth tens of thousands, you You people in the city have money but no place to spend it. You have no place to give it to me? Look at the hole in my sock that has been torn for several years and has not been patched! (After speaking, he took off his shoes to reveal the holes in his socks, and raised his feet to show everyone.)
Trial: The defendant put his feet down and continued his statement.
Zhang San (putting his foot down): Liu Degang told me that he was looking for a buyer and asked me to pay him a hard-earned fee. I can think about it. After all, I don’t know many people in the city, so he asked me to sell it myself. Maybe the sheep died and I didn't even sell it. Then one day Liu De just brought a man in a suit with a bamboo pole and oily hair to my house, saying he was a buyer. After seeing my sheep, he decided to give me 20,000 yuan on the spot. You don’t know that when I heard this, I was so happy that my heart blossomed. But Liu Degang said no, so he blindsided me. Who knew that the bamboo pole man directly asked for 50,000 yuan? , Oops, I'm such a good boy, no wonder everyone calls Liu Degang a chicken thief, look at this little kid who can't do anything, yet he made me an extra 30,000 yuan.
Debate: The bamboo pole man you are talking about is Sun Quan?
Zhang San: Yes, yes, just Sun Quan, Sun Quan in the Three Kingdoms.
Debate: Keep talking.
Zhang San: Later, when Sun Quan gave me the money, Liu Degang asked me for hard work pay, and said that I should pay more for earning an extra 30,000 to 30,000 yuan. I was happy, so I gave him an extra 100 yuan, but this son of a bitch was actually not happy. This sheep was the result of my hard work.If he is a hunter, he can get 5100 just by talking, and he is not happy about it! It’s really easy to see money.
Defense: Presiding judge, my questioning is over.
Trial: Prosecutor, do you have anything else to ask?
Mr.: Yes.
Public (facing the defendant): His confession said that the 5100 you gave contained a few counterfeit bills.
Zhang San: What happened to the counterfeit money? It was given to me by someone else.
Mr.: What happens next?
Zhang San: This is what happened after that. This turtle son sued me, and then you arrested me, saying that I hunted nationally protected animals, and that I would go to jail. I just caught a sheep, now I have to go to jail?
Public: Yes, according to Article 341 of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China, you will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than five years and a fine; if the circumstances are serious, you will be sentenced to not less than five years and not more than ten years. to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than 10 years and to a fine.
Zhang San: Your Honor, I just caught a sheep. I really didn’t know it was a wild animal. As the saying goes, those who don’t know are not guilty. You can’t sentence me to jail.
Public: The law will not punish you just because you say you don’t know.
Zhang San was so frightened that he slumped down on the chair and trembled all over
Jian: Quick, see what happened to him?
The people gathered around to check the situation. Zhang San suddenly raised his head and said: So where is the money I earned?
Public: It will be confiscated.
After hearing this, Zhang San slumped down on his chair.
Trial: Does the defendant feel uncomfortable and needs medical treatment?
Zhang San cried bitterly: I feel uncomfortable, I feel uncomfortable, it’s my money. I will never hunt strange animals again. I will report them to the country if I see them in the future, and ask for mercy. I still have children to raise and a wife to take care of.
Trial: Defendant Zhang San, now you can make a final statement on the facts and evidence of this case, the latest content and severity, your understanding of the crime, and the requirements for conviction and sentencing.
Zhang San: Your Excellency, I have deeply realized my mistake. I promise never to hunt and kill national second-level protected animals in the future. Please also consider that I will not be punished outside the law even though I have elders and younger children. Have mercy, my lord.
Trial: After deliberation by the collegial panel, the oral verdict is now pronounced: Considering that the defendant was a first-time offender who was unclear about the species of nationally protected animals, and also actively cooperated with the investigation afterwards, comprehensively considering the facts of this case, in accordance with Article 3 of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China Article 141 stipulates that the defendant Zhang San was sentenced to one year and six months in prison, suspended for two years, and fined 3,000 yuan, and the iron trap used to capture wild animals was confiscated.
Zhang San: Thank you, sir, thank you "Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China", thank you, thank you.